DRIVETIME MAHATMA

OPINION | DRIVETIME MAHATMA: Shedding some light on the darkness of I-30, I-440

Dear Mahatma: The past few times I have driven to the Little Rock airport during the pitch-black wee morning hours, I have noticed that every single streetlight on Interstate 30 after exiting Interstate 630 is dark as well as all lights on Interstate 440. This has been the case for at least six months. Not very welcoming for visitors to keep them in the dark. What gives? -- Night Rider

Dear Rider: David Nilles of the Arkansas Department of Transportation explains all.

Interstate 30 roadway light poles were located on the concrete median barrier wall separating the two directions of traffic. Traffic lane shifts to open up areas for construction dictated the removal of portions of the median barrier wall. Lighting in these locations was removed in conjunction with wall removal.

To allow for the removal of the lights, power was disconnected. This affected all lighting along I-30 downtown. New lighting will be turned on when installed.

We also asked about the completion of the Mother of All Projects, known as 30 Crossing, on the assumption that when the project is finished the lights will go on.

That deadline remains January 2025. Our fervent hope is to live that long.

Dear Mahatma: For the driver turning right onto Cantrell Road, the proper weapon to be mounted on her vehicle is a Supersonic X-ray Disintegrator Gun. Not only does it solve the problem, but it's environmentally friendly! It leaves no evidence and no mess to clean up. -- Benton Pastor

Dear Pastor: It's wholly a pleasure to know that clergy can be like the rest of us. That is, mad as heck at discourteous drivers.

You reference a recent column in which advice was solicited from a driver who will not turn right on a red light unless she is convinced the turn can be done safely. And so chumps behind her honk their horns.

Where can we get a couple of those Disintegrator Guns? Ha-ha!

Seriously, columnists hate it when readers are funnier than them.

This just in: Benton Pastor said those guns were only available on KAAY 1090 back in the 1960s. For those who came in late, that was an AM radio station, Little Rock's Mighty 1090, a rock 'n' roll legend.

Dear Mahatma: I wish to remove any sting that you may receive from comments about your ending a sentence with a preposition. In this case, up. Besides being a preposition, up can also be an adverb, as it is in your sentence. Example: The moon came up. Love your column! -- Retired English Teacher

Dear Teach: Thank you for reading this fine newspaper.

English teachers and the rest of us are obviously two peoples separated by a common language.

We confess that our knowledge of prepositions comes mostly from a Berenstain Bears book -- "Inside, Outside, Upside Down."

...

Vanity plate seen in the Interstate 30 war zone. Oops, construction zone: WINGNIT. On a red Corvette.

Fjfellone@gmail.com

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