LITTLE ROCK — Everybody knows about Wilburette, the suave 800-pounder who managed to escape the slaughter house when a tractor-trailer rig carrying 90 porcine beauties overturned off an interstate, leaving hogs scattered everywhere. Miss Wilburette was found sometime later cooling off in at a swimming pool.
After quite a hullabaloo, including pleas for executive clemency, she's now being held at an undisclosed location. It's as if she'd entered the federal witness protection program. Indeed, she could be charged with inspiring some of the worst puns and other such wordplay in the recent history of the much abused American language, Arkinsaw branch. ("Ham on lam," to quote a now classic headline in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette.) Efforts to contact this not so little piggy in order to get her side of the story have not been successful at press time, but no one seems to have her cell phone number. Here's hoping that, despite her ample size, this suspect manages to avoid detection.
Editorial, Pages 10 on 08/24/2009