LITTLE ROCK — The bathroom at a bar is far more than just a place to go do your business. As individual and unique as the drinks, the decor and the regular crowd, the rest rooms at a bar can often tell you a little about the character of the establishment itself. Or it can just be a place to take in some words of wisdom, either from the walls or the idle chatter. Sometimes it's just downright weird - or, on the other hand, exceptionally tidy - and worth seeing for that reason alone. And so we present the first-ever Potty Awards to a handful of local bar bathrooms that caught our eyes, ears or interest (or some combination of the three).
Most Gripping Graffiti
White Water Tavern, 2500 W. 7th St.
Whether it's a developing conspiracy theory, a philosophical discourse, a remarkably detailed cartoon, or a commentary on the poor grammar of another artist, the evolving artwork of the bathrooms is part of the legacy of this local music hotspot.
Though painted over with a change of ownership in 2007, the bathroom graffiti has been left alone since, said White Water's Sean Hughes. The choice of new color in the bathrooms - light gray - even prompted a response.
"One of the first pieces of graffiti we got was, 'Why didn't you paint it black?'" Hughes said. The answer: they actually didn't mind inviting new writing. Patrons enjoy it, Hughes said, and when it gets too vulgar or personal, it has a tendency to police itself.
"There are no surprises," Hughes said. "We expect everything."
Runner-up: Vino's
A close runner-up for this nod is Vino's Brewpub, at the corner of Seventh and Chester streets.
The graffiti at this bathroom spills over to the halls outside the rest room doors. Abundant and interesting, its bathroom graffiti only pales when compared to the musings on the walls throughout the back showroom.
Most Unusual Urinals
Grumpy's Too, 1801 Green Mountain Drive
Okay there are a couple different ways to interpret the urinals at this west Little Rock bar. Shaped like two luscious lips parted wide, these fixtures might, just might, be an homage of some kind to the Rolling Stones. Or it might have something to do with certain disturbing interests we hear are well represented on various Internet sites but don't often come up in polite conversation.
A third explanation, offered Kolleen Namour of Grumpy's, is that they're just there for the whimsical humor, not so unlike the duck coming out of the ceiling near the front door of the bar.
"We have a lot of random things throughout the place," she said. "There's a sense of surprise."
But probably nowhere more so than in the bathroom.
"Women go in there and look at them all the time," Nemour said. "The guys will come out saying, 'You've got to come see these urinals.'"
Nemour said the urinals were added during a renovation about two years ago, when the owner was "looking for something different." He found and purchased these urinals, designed by a woman from Belgium, over the Internet. More than innuendo, Namour said, the offbeat toilets are a hit among the customers because they're "just weird."
Most Social
Electric Cowboy, 301 Main St.
It's not just the luck of the Irish that keeps this new North Little Rock mainstay spotless. There's a lot of bleach involved, too. And it shows. While the authentically green walls seem just light enough to invite a clever limerick, there's not a syllable upon them - only vintage signs for Guinness (of course) and a couple other intoxicants.
"If I don't feel comfortable using the bathroom, then something is wrong," said general manager Khalil Moussa, who described the bathrooms' daily cleaning schedule, which includes frequent to checks throughout the day to make sure they pass muster.
The hardest part, which Moussa files in the Just One of Those Things drawer, is preventing stuff from getting ripped off the wall. "I don't know why they do that," he said.
But perhaps the effort to keep the rest rooms clean comes from the story behind the building of the bar - that it was assembled in Ireland, taken apart and rebuilt here piece by piece. Something that meticulous deserves preservation.
"I always like to flush twice," said Moussa. "It's a long way to Ireland."
Best View from the Bathroom Line
Midtown Billiards, 1316 Main St.
Midtown's walls drip with graffiti and the well-worn Main Street bar serves up Little Rock's meanest early morning cheeseburger, but one of the bar's best features besides cheap, cold beer and juicy burgers is the view it offers from the bathroom line. Located behind the minuscule stage, the actual bathrooms are secluded behind closed doors, but patrons waiting in line outside for use of the graffiti-splattered facilities are able to glance out a glassless window onto the stage and bar. So even though customers are waiting in line for the bathroom, they can still catch the music or the always interesting atmosphere that is Midtown.
The Smallest Space
Juanita's, 1300 S. Main St.
While not quite as restrictive as the water closet in an airplane, the stall and sink serving the female patrons on the bar side of Juanita's is just a little small. Still, it's more than the men have. They have to trek over to the restaurant side when nature calls.
It's a "love/hate" relationship, acknowledged owner Johnny Weaver, who purchased the downtown icon famous for it's food and music in October 2008.
"Since my purchase of Juanita's : bathrooms have been a top priority. Unfortunately, in our case, it's going to require some more thought than just replacing fixtures and dressing them up," he said via e-mail.
Added as the establishment has grown over the years, the bathroom on the bar side is expected to get some attention as some remodeling is done - "nothing huge, just taking patrons' comments and complaints and addressing them one by one."
In the meantime, though, whatever can be done is being done, Weaver said.
"Cleanliness is something that was a complaint in the past, and today we do everything we can to have the cleanest bathrooms in town. They may be dated and cramped, but they can be clean and working."
The Social Hangout
Electric Cowboy, 9515 Interstate 30
With 17 stalls, nine sinks and a long wooden bench, Electric Cowboy has all of the amenities a drinking girl could need. The bench is especially perfect for making new friends, chatting with your co-partiers and resting after a particularly long stretch of dancing. Oh, and let's not forget escaping from the unwanted attentions of the boys.
The bathroom had no graffiti that we could find and was relatively clean. All of the doors seem to shut and stay closed, too. Worst case scenario, you're out of toilet paper, but the friendly girl in the next stall will probably share.
Runners-up:
The second-best places to meet people in a bar bathroom would have to be Cajun's Wharf and the new Star Bar on Markham (in old the Italian Couple building). Though Cajun's lacks the seating area (no pun intended) of Electric Cowboy, it does have plenty of traffic and friendly bar patrons ready to strike up a conversation.
Star Bar is a little too new to start up a bar following, but the potty has potential. It's got a bright and airy powder room of sorts separate from the stall area. A girl could pop in there for primping and to take a quick break.
Potty Potentials
Not every bar bathroom can win a Potty Award, especially when the categories are arbitrary. But every bar bathroom does have it's own personality, and more than a few of those are worth mentioning.
Check Yourself
West End, 215 N. Shackleford Road
No danger of walking out of these west Little Rock bathrooms with toilet paper on your shoe or your shirt tucked into your underwear. Ample full-length mirrors allow for an all-around view before plunging back out into the crowd.
Bring a Friend
Flying Saucer, 323 President Clinton Ave.
More than just a gal to gab with, ladies frequenting the powder room at this downtown fixture are advised to take a buddy to the bathroom to hold the lockless stall door closed. This is a frustrating situation (made worse by hanging a heavy handbag onto the door) that has the potential to end in an awkward way for the unwary. You have been warned.
Hope You Can Hold It
Bosco's, 500 President Clinton Ave.
While technically a restaurant, these folks know beer, so we'll let it slide and give them the nod for best bathroom hunt. Sure, it makes sense once you get there, but it's hike from the main dining area and the bar. Plan ahead and don't wait until you really gotta go.
Runner-up: Reno's. When you're sitting in the front part of the pub, people watching by the window, it feels like a 100-yard dash to get to the potty area far, far in the back.