FORCES OF NURTURE: Through the sweat, that SUV looks cool

LITTLE ROCK — It’s been 10 years since we last shopped for a car.

My husband and I were engaged and had a vague agreement that we’d like a baby one day. My preference was to have only one.

But as we climbed in and out of sweltering cars during one of the hottest Augusts on record, I wasn’t thinking about that.

I just wanted a car. I wanted one that was big and safe. My tiny single girl car had just been clobbered by a red-light runner, so I was a bit post traumatic. I wanted as much metal as possible between me and whatever might run into me.

I had also only lived in Arkansas for a few weeks.

My husband and I had just moved in together after a passionate and brief long-distance courtship. So we were going through debates that now seem very silly - things like the best way to make tuna salad. You know what I mean? The mayonnaise-to-tuna ratio seemed vital then.

So buying a car together was our first big test as a couple. First real commitment, too.

Now, we have two kids and a mortgage. We stopped caring about tuna years ago.

As we take our second turn buying a vehicle during scorching temperatures, I still want a big and safe car. Now, it’s because I want to keep my kids safe and comfortable.

This go-round, I’m also thinking about the ease of getting my kids (more specifically my 33-pound baby boy) in and out of the vehicle. When we bought our last car, we never anticipated the chronic back pain that would come with bending over and twisting around to buckle in squirming tikes.

And we didn’t think about the fact that when we added a second child, we would no longer be able to have an adult ride in our back seat. Mammoth car seats weren’t on the radar.

Now, I find myself weighing a choice that I didn’t fathom then. It’s SUV versus minivan. I never, never thought I would come to this.

I made fun of women in minivans. I thought, “Ha! She sold out. How lame. That poor woman has kids crawling all over her life.”

I didn’t cut SUV drivers any slack either. “Look at her. She thinks she’s better than me because her behemoth car is biggerthan mine. She doesn’t even care about the environment.”

No more. I envy the SUV and minivan mamas. I think, “I bet her back feels fantastic. I bet she smiles every time she hits her keyless remote and those enormous doors slide open.” Her children even look happier than mine.

Now those mamas are the ones laughing. I imagine theylook at my pained grimace as I hoist my kids into their seats. Can they see me sweating? Hear my back popping?

I bet they’re thinking, “What was she thinking when she bought that sedan?” Cindy Murphy is a news reporter for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. She and her husband live in Little Rock with their 4-year-old daughter and 1-year-old son. She and Cathy Frye are co-editors of LittleRock Mamas.com. E-mail her at

cmurphy@LittleRockMamas.com