LITTLE ROCK — You too can smell like a blend of cougar, too much pre-awards show champagne and rotten tomatoes hurled at movie screens.
Introducing Mariah Carey’s new fragrances. (Why the spoiled produce? Long before she starredin the successful Precious, she was in that stinker Glitter.)
The singer, in partnership with Elizabeth Arden, is releasing a line of scents to be called Lollipop Bling. Due out next month, the candy-scented colognes were inspired by the diamond-encrustedRing Pop that Carey’s husband Nick Cannon gave her.
And this project, like Kim Kardashian’s perfume released a few months ago, got us thinking about other celebrities who don’t yet have signature fragrances. (For example ... Base note: Plastic. Middle note: Silicone. Top note: Botox. Celebrity: Heidi Montag. Suggested name: Unreal.)
Here are a few fresh ones:
Base note: Alcohol
Middle note: Alcohol
Top note: Kombucha tea, which contains - you guessed it - alcohol
Celebrity: Lindsay Lohan, issued an arrest warrant after her court-ordered alcohol monitoring bracelet allegedly went off
Suggested name: SCRAMdulous
Base note: Messy room
Middle note: Body odor
Top note: Acne medicine
Celebrity: The American Idol television show (which just lowered its minimum age requirement from 16 to 15) after a disappointingseason
Suggested name: Desperation
Base note: Money
Middle note: Ripped fishnets
Top note: Dirty laundry (because why else would a 17-year-old be going around without underwear?)
Celebrity: Miley Cyrus
Suggested name: Jailbait
Base note: Burned-out star
Middle note: Dusty DVDs (She’s the Man, anyone?)
Top note: Hairspray
Celebrity: Actress Amanda Bynes who recently announced on the social network Twitter that she is quitting acting (who knew she was still doing it? Her last movie was 2007’s forgettable Sydney White) at the ripe age of 24: “I don’t love acting anymoreso I’ve stopped.”
Suggested name: Unmemorable
Base note: American Pie
Middle note: A second sequel helping of American Pie
Top note: Booze
Celebrity: Actor Chris Klein, who checked into rehab following his second alcohol-related arrest
Suggested name: Baked
Base note: Locker room sweat
Middle note: Peanuts
Top note: Cracker Jack
Celebrity: Lady Gaga, who angered Yankees’ management when the singer of stutter-filled “Pokerface” and baseball fan - dressed in a bra and bikini bottom covered by an unbuttoned jersey - hung out in the clubhouse after a recent loss. The New York Post reported that she was banned by Yankees cochairman Hal Steinbrenner. But general manager Brian Cashman has since said, “It was the wrong time and the wrong place,” but the incident was “not her fault” and she’s still welcome.
Suggested name: Foul P-P-P-Play Take a deep breath and e-mail:
Spin Cycle is a weekly smirk at pop culture and weekly segment on Little Rock’s KURB-FM, B98.5, at 7 a.m. Thursdays. Listen live and hear podcasts at b98.com.
Style, Pages 53 on 06/27/2010