Boy mourns for pet in print

LITTLE ROCK — The recorded phone message from 12-year-old Zachary Hulbert was forwarded from one crusty journalist to another in the Times Union’s newsroom, softening everyone who listened.

“My name is Zach. I just wanted to know if I wrote a thing about my dog would you guys publish it in the newspaper?”

The emotion is thick in his voice. And after his question, he abruptly hangs up. His words stay with us.

Throughout the day, many of us offer to call him or to try to find a way to run his story.

We remember losing a pet.

Or we think of our own children.

We think of our dogs who are up in years, moving more slowly, turning gray.

I called Zach, who told me Rufus had died that day, and he wanted to put something in the paper about him. I told him tosend me what he’d written so I could share it, along with the best practices for parents on dealing with children who’ve lost a pet from Dr. Stephanie LaFarge, senior director of counseling services for the ASPCA.

She said Zachary was doing it right by talking with others about it so they’ll know what he’s feeling - even better that he wants to share it with the newspaper’s readers.

“He knows where he will find an audience,” she said. “Consider the alternative, which is what we don’t want: A child feels isolated, ashamed, that he’s the only one this has ever happened to.”

She said parents should use the sad event as a chance to show how the family copes when bad things happen, apreparation for future losses.

Be honest about the facts of what happened and with the emotions felt by the family, she said.

“If a child says, ‘Are you going to die? Am I going to die?’ they can say, ‘We’re not dying now?’ Then you go on to talk about the life the animal had.”

Make something at home, put up pictures or papers.

Tell the child’s teacher that this has taken place if you trust the teacher to help the child find other kids who have been through the experience.

If the pet is being euthanized, explain that euthanasia is something the veterinariandoes to take away the pain. Sometimes the only way you can stop the pain is to end the animal’s life.

And encourage them to tell the story of the animal they loved. Like Zachary did:

“Every day Rufus is waiting for me after school. I would come in the house and Rufus would want to play. I will miss that so much now because Rufus is in Doggie Heaven. He was only 3 years old. I remember when I held Rufus all the way home from when we got him from his owner. He was my best friend. I will never forget that me and Rufus will not be broken up. All thanks to the Latham Animal Hospital. The doctor was so good to Rufus. My name is Zachary Hulbert and my best friend is Rufus and a part of my heart is gone without Rufus.”