LITTLE ROCK — I’m betting that lately a lot of us fellow 50-and-over types have begun to feel like those people at whom we have often marveled because they always seemed to be in transition.
Chances are, these are members of our family. Or friends. Either way, we’ve shaken our heads in exasperation with them. Why? Because every time we talk to them, they’ve undergone what we consider a major life change ... and we simply can’t keep up with them.
A few for-instances: In June, they got married and they moved. By December, they got unmarried - and moved again. In February they started a new business. By April the business had gone bust, leaving them job hunting. They landed a job ... and another, and yet another, changing employers faster, it would seem, than some people change their unmentionables. If we haven’t called their cell phone in a while, we know we might as well not do so; their number has probably been assigned to someone else. When we start to type in their e-mail address, six or seven of their previous addresses come up. As a matter of fact, we know to write their contact information in pencil.
For years I have marveled at the lives of a group of loved ones who live in another city. Their life situations change faster than one of those old-fashioned, rotating Christmas-tree lights ... marriages/romantic relationships begun, then ended; major purchases made and celebrated, then lost or sold; jobs gained and celebrated, then lost or resigned from; group affiliations made and unmade. I’ve lost count of the moves - often, in and out of each other’s abodes in various combinations. This has gone on for years, leaving me at times to wonder what will become of them in their old age.
Some rapid transitioners, as I’ll call them, live scenarios that some might find enviable. They’re ambitious and aggressive and each change propels them further toward fame and fortune. Yet others are simply free spirits, flitting blissfully from one situation to another with no apparent consequences.
But I suspect they’re outnumbered by those whose rapid transitions could best be described as a roller-coaster ride or by the phrase, “one step forward, two steps back.” Especially as far as finances are concerned.
The Great Recession, accompanied by rapidly changing technology and the global village that has resulted, have changed more than a few of us into unwilling Rapid Transitioners, rather than mere observers.
The young people can cope. But it’s harder for those of us who have been around the barn a few times to find that, just at a time we’re supposed to be losing physical flexibility, we must, ironically, summon the situational flexibility that living in this world calls for.
In the past few years I’ve changed abodes, work atmospheres, churches, support systems ... even my views in a couple of key areas. None of these changes were expected. Some were more welcome than others. Some were definitely part of that “one step forward, two [or more] steps back” scenario.
But just as we have to do strange-sounding and strange looking exercises to retain or regain physical flexibility, we need to exercise in order to remain mentally flexible in these times of forced rapid change. Such exercises include: Deciding that a positive attitude will be a constant in our lives. Looking for things to be grateful for as a result of that decision. Making full use of our support systems. (That group of loved ones of mine has formed a pretty good one.) Showing compassion for those whose rapid transitions have overwhelmed them. Keeping our eyes, ears and hearts open for those unconventional, unexpected opportunities that, if taken, might well bless us with even more than what we lost. Among my favorite “stretching” exercises: reminding myself that my Maker is working things out for my good.
And in the midst of that blur of people and things we can’t keep up with, we find we can get pretty good at doing a graceful - and flexible - slow dance.
Still the same contact info: hwilliams@arkansasonline.com
Style, Pages 45 on 07/22/2012