We have to stop Sanduskys in our society

THREE RIVERS AREA — I’ve never been afraid to write any column, but my heart is beating faster as I start this.

It has been on my mind for years, actually, but why would I share something this personal?

It was not that bad, really. Not when you consider the hell former Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky put those young men through.

Still, it’s been 22 years, and I think about it from time to time. I feel guilty. Embarrassed. Ashamed.

I was 26 years old and working for another newspaper, and I had an interview for a feature story.

I went to a professional’s office, and we talked. It was after 5 o’clock, and he suggested we finish at his house. I have been to hundreds of homes to do interviews in my career. That’s no big deal.

In fact, his wife was at the office, and she was leaving town. He told her we were going to their home. They kissed goodbye.

I followed him to his home, and he gave me a tour. There had been red flags already.

But, I kept thinking I was imagining things. He was just joking, I thought. Or, I was taking him wrong.

He asked me, “Do you think you’re sexy?”

I was five months pregnant.

Yes, I should have left immediately.

I kept thinking if I acted normal, it would be normal. I didn’t want to embarrass HIM.

He went to change clothes, and then he lay on the couch while I sat on the edge at the other end, taking notes.

He put his legs up on the back of the couch, and I glanced and saw that he had nothing on under those shorts.

I was scared. Still, I thought I was being ridiculous. I thought surely he didn’t realize what he was doing! It sounds so stupid as I write it, I know. I’m a strong-willed, assertive woman, but he had a doctorate. He was well-known. It had to be me, not him.

Then it happened. He was sitting next to me, and he stuck his hand down my shirt.

I jumped up and told him I had to leave.

When I practically ran outside, he asked, “Are you going to tell your husband?”

“Yes, I tell my husband everything,” I said.

I vividly remember standing on the sidewalk in front of his house asking: “If you would do this to me, what do you do to your patients?”

He said: “I would never do anything to my patients.”

Really? I believed that then.

I pray that it’s true.

He was a father, too.

I told my husband that night, and I was afraid he would be mad at me. He told me that was crazy, that it wasn’t my fault.

I felt like it was.

I should have told. It’s hard to breathe as I tell you.

Some of you have had much worse happen, and you haven’t told. You’ve shoved it way down, but I know it comes back.

I’m still thinking about this 22 years later. And it was nothing, nothing, nothing compared to what those young men suffered at the hands of the sick Sandusky.

We have to tell. We have to stop the Sanduskys and even the Joe Paternos of the world.

I can’t even imagine how hard it was for those young men to come forward.

They are heroes.

If they can tell, so can we.

Senior writer Tammy Keith can be reached at (501) 327-0370 or tkeith@arkansasonline.com.