LITTLE ROCK — Dear Otus,
I bet the city council sure feels stupid after the Supreme Court decision about the Clinton Airport name change. Their ineptitude bordered on being a crime. Any chance they’ll go back to Little Rock National?
- Forbry Delsen, Shannon Hills
Dear Forbry,
It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you, my first correspondent from Shannon Hills, the garden city of Saline County.
It certainly looks as if the city has egg on its face after the Arkansas Supreme Court ruled 4-3 in favor of the city of Clinton last Monday.
The Little Rock Municipal Airport Commission’s decision to change the name from Little Rock National Airport to Bill and Hillary Clinton National Airport ended up costing Little Rock taxpayers a cool $12.3 million.
The seven-member commission, headed by close Clinton confidante Jim Dailey, voted unanimously to honor the Clintons, citing their numerous accomplishments.
The commission rejected the first name suggestion, the more easily flowing Hillary and Bill Clinton National Airport, after realizing it would be shortened to HillBilly Airport.
About the name change, the former president said, “As a small boy growing up in a place called Hope and Hot Springs, I used to stand and watch the airplanes fly over and marvel at all the wonderful places they were going.
“Hillary and I are humbled and grateful for this honor and we look forward to many happy landings at the airport in the years ahead.”
That was said before the city of Clinton, a town of 2,600, got into the act. It seems the Van Buren County seat already had a Clinton Airport. They were proud of their airport and had just spent more than $1,400 for a spiffy new sign at the entrance on Arkansas 16 at Airport Road.
More than anything else,I believe Clinton (the town) was miffed that big bully Little Rock had not even bothered to contact them before changing the airport name.
Clinton Mayor Roger Rorie (a savvy former legislator) sprang into action and called an emergency meeting of the town’s airport commission. The commission usually meets at Western Sizzlin’ on U.S. 65 South on the third Monday of each month at noon.
The group rallied behind the cause and a lawsuit was filed against the city of Little Rock for “wanton and egregious name infringement that violated proprietary custom and intellectual property rights.”
Clinton sued Little Rock for $882.5 million in compensatory and punitive damages, plus $28.14 in overtime for Clinton city clerk Merl Eoff.
Due to the immediacy of the situation (Little Rock has already changed all the airport signs at the cost of $220,000), the court expedited its decision.
Unfortunately they did not rule in Merl’s favor, but, citing the landmark 1954 precedent of Dibbies v. Arkansas, the court ruled that Clinton (the town) had Dibbies on the airport name and awarded $16.4 million in damages. Payable immediately.
The court also ruled that upon payment Little Rock could keep its new airport name, but made it swear that next time it will perform due diligence before taking action.
Clinton wasted no time in putting its new funds to good use.
The first thing to go was the creaky old airport control tower that has been falling apart since the airport was built in 1975. A state-of-the-art facility will be constructed that will contain a Western Sizzlin’ so that commissioners don’t have to travel for their monthly meetings.
In addition, the airport grounds will be the new home of the Dan Eoff Championship Chuckwagon Races Museum. Bids are being taken for a 50,000-square-foot facility that can double as an indoor arena.
Most importantly, the city of Clinton, in a nifty egalitarian measure, has opened up nominations for the new airport name. The city wants to name the old Clinton Municipal Airport after someone truly deserving.
The winner’s name (to be decided by the airport commission next month) will be installed on that new sign out on the highway and emblazoned on the side of the spanking new 75-foot control tower. There’s also a plaque and a $100 savings bond.
Send your nominations (keep it under 227 words) to “Name That Airport,” Clinton, Ark. 72511.
Until next time, Kalaka suggests the broiled chicken tips at the Sizzlin’.
Disclaimer
Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat’s award-winning column of humorous fabrication appears every Saturday. E-mail:
HomeStyle, Pages 35 on 03/31/2012