LITTLE ROCK — Life has a way of throwing curveballs when you least expect them. Just ask Catherine Griffin of Little Rock. She and her husband, John, had made plans for their later years. And their plans ended up coming to fruition, just not via the path they’d imagined.
In the late 1990s, with their now-37-year-old son then grown, the couple talked and planned of one day becoming foster parents and opening their hearts and home to other children needing a loving family.
But tragedy struck. As John was preparing to retire, he was diagnosed with cancer and died Dec. 11, 1998.
“After he died, I thought, ‘Well, I can forget about doing that,’ says Griffin, now 61, an employee of the Pulaski County Special School District who works as a bus aide for children with special needs.
A few years later at a barbershop, Griffin ran into one of her cousins who had several foster children in tow and learned that even as a widow she was eligible to become a foster parent.
Moving forward with the plans she and her husband had made earlier, Griffin underwent fosterparent training and in March 2006 welcomed her first foster children - four siblings, three boys and a girl - into her home near Bill and Hillary Clinton National Airport/ Adams Field in Little Rock.
“It shocked me when I went to Department of Human Services and picked them up,” she recalls. “Thefirst thing I asked them was ‘Are you hungry?’ They said they were, so I took them to McDonald’s.
“I had a bedroom for each of them but didn’t want anyone to be alone, so I put the three boys on a roll-away and the little girl in the bed with me,” Griffin recalls. “Idon’t know if I slept very good that first night but as time went on, we all adjusted,” she recalls, laughing.
The boys eventually were adopted by others or moved to other foster homes, but the girl, Marisha, now 14, remained with Griffin and was adopted by her two years ago.
Another foster child Nicole (whose name has been changed in this article for safety reasons), whom Griffin adopted three years ago, arrived at her home in 2008 as a troubled child with a bad attitude.
“I would get frustrated easily,” Nicole says. “I would get mad at the drop of a hat.” Today she’s 12, a sixth-grader in the gifted and talented program at school and on the honor roll with a 3.7 grade-point average.
“She just found where she needed to be,” Griffin says of Nicole.
Brittany Beasley, now 16, arrived at Griffin’s home in 2009 and remains there today as her foster child. Brittany will age out of the foster care system next year.
BABIES TO TEENAGERS
Since Griffin began serving as a foster parent, a number of other foster children have come through her home - from babies to teenagers. Some were only sent to her for overnight shelter - arriving in a crisis situation, often in the middle of the night and removed early the next morning.
“I give these kids my all,” she says. “I treat them as though I had birthed them myself. I call them my girls, I don’t say they’re my foster kids. Whatever the problem is, I am there for them. I’m there at the school when they have problems and I’m there at the doctor’s office when they’re sick.”
And what does she receive in return?
“Enjoyment,” Griffin simply states. “On Saturdays, I’ll ask them if they would like to go to the movies or the mall on theirown but they would rather spend time around me. That makes me feel good to know they would rather spend time with me than hang out somewhere.”
For Mother’s Day, Griffin gave all three girls a present - each one received a new dress.
“I had a pretty new dress and I wanted them to all have one, too,” she explains. “If I get to look good, they should, too.”
When asked what they receive from Griffin, the three girls mention the obvious - food, clothing, shelter, but also note the intangibles as well - love, respect, caring, and support.
More foster families are needed in Arkansas, says Cecile Blucker, director of the state Department of Human Services Children and Family Services Division.
“Last year, more than 7,900 children came in and out of the foster-care system in Arkansas, and on any given day up to 4,000 children are in the care of DHS in Arkansas, but there are currently only 1,179 fosterhomes, Blucker says.
“We have a need for more foster homes in all parts of Arkansas,” she says. “Foster care in Arkansas should not just be a DHS problem, but we need communities and individualsto help by becoming aware of the situation, understanding the needs of these children and the foster families, and supporting them.”
HER JOURNEY
To underscore the difference foster parents make in a child’s life, Sharanda Crews, 18, shared the story of her journey through foster care at an afternoon news conference held May 4 at MacArthur Museum of Arkansas Military History.
“I came into foster care three years ago but I probably should have been in it years earlier,” said Crews, now a sophomore at Arkansas State University at Jonesboro. “As a 15-year-old, I had already pretty much made up my mind about what life was like, but I am so glad I did get into the program when I did.
“I don’t think I would be where I am today if I hadn’t. Approximately a year ago, I was a sophomore in high school and today I have received my GED and I am a sophomore in college. I don’t think I would have done any of that without my DHS social workers’ support.
“I am living with much more purpose now,” she said. “Before I was in foster care, I was just trying to make it through each day.”
Sheila and Wayne Merritt of Little Rock, who are in their mid-50s, have been foster parents for nearly 13 years and have been foster parents to more than 24 children during that time. The couple currently have four foster children living with them.
“When we bring a child into our home, we don’t necessarily just expect them to adapt to our [surroundings] but also try to adjust to make it more familiar for them,” says Sheila, a former preschool teacher.
“I knew this was something I was called to do,” she adds. “We have fostered children who have experienced all aspects of life, and I can tell you that they are resilient; they bounce right back. When they leave us, they are happy, more outgoing.
“We approach it from, ‘Weare just kind of filling in until your momma or daddy can figure it out.’”
HIS WIFE’S URGING
Wayne said he became a foster parent at his wife’s urging.
“After I had raised our children, I thought that was the end,” he says. “We need other people to stick their hearts out and try to help kids because there are a lot of kids out there who need your help.”
During the news conference held May 4 to highlight the need for more foster homes, Blucker made an appeal for families to volunteer.
“We want to encourage citizens from every walk of life to help,” Blucker says.
“In 2011, we had a net gain of one additional foster home,” she says.
Why the slow growth?
“Many families who foster wind up adopting and once they’ve adopted, they don’t want to foster anymore,” Blucker says. “And others have been fostering for many years and are just tired.”
She said people also tend to attach a stigma to foster children.
“There seems to be a fear of foster children,” Blucker says. “And we need to do a better job of educating the public about them. Kids in foster care are just like any other kids but just had more odds to overcome. But kids in foster care are excelling. You just never hear about them; it’s like they’re a forgotten group.”
The Children and Family Services Division provides an initial training session that includes 30 hours of initial instruction and continuing support for new and potential foster parents. Foster parents also must obtain CPR andfirst-aid certifications. Additional requirements include background checks for household members, physical exams and the ability to meet housing and resource requirements.
In addition to foster parents, there is also a need for volunteers and mentors to work with the foster children. For more information on becoming a foster parent or a mentor, visit fosterarkansas.org or call (501) 682-8549.
Family, Pages 40 on 05/23/2012