Editor's note: This was Robert Maranto's commencement address for Achievement House Cyber Charter School, where he serves on the unpaid board.
As a dad I want my kids to succeed, to live the good life, so just as my dad taught me, I try to teach my kids that they can live well if they do eight things.
Most importantly, obey the laws of God, or since this is a public school and we're not supposed to say the G word, obey the laws of the universe. That means understanding that you are not the center of the universe, so you have to act in a way that is considerate of others.
Self-obsessed people are not happy, or good, or even fun to be around. They whine all the time. Please don't be one of those people.
Second, obey the laws of mankind, which means staying out of trouble. If the laws of God conflict with the laws of man, remember Aristides de Sousa Mendes, the Portuguese diplomat in World War II who saved thousands from Hitler's death camps by giving them false passports. He saved more people than Oskar Schindler, so someone should do a movie about him.
De Sousa Mendes was fired for his heroic law-breaking, as he knew would happen. He ended up in poverty, but still declared that "I would stand with God against man rather than with man against God." Aren't we glad he did?
Third, and this may seem to contradict point two but really does not: Be flexible. The stark moral choices confronting heroes like de Sousa Mendes are rare in modern America. Thankfully, none of us must risk it all to save people from Nazis. Or as I often tell my children--and in my own catty way this is revenge on someone with whom I used to work: Don't Be a Bossy Flossie. I've seen too many Bossy Flossies, people who micromanage everyone in their paths. Their co-workers and family members hate them.
Don't be a Bossy Flossie, and for heaven's sake, never work for one. Life is too short.
Fourth, do not fear failure. People who never fail can't understand the rest of us; nor can they really understand success. I had a mediocre record at a mediocre high school. I attended the University of Maryland because it was the only college that would take me. Back then you had to have a pulse to get into Maryland. You did not have to be a mammal. I know that because my college buddies got a turtle admitted to the University, a real Maryland terrapin.
Anyway, while anyone could get into Maryland, not everyone could graduate. On my first two college exams, I earned a C- and an F+. I learned that, unlike my high school, at my university success depended on more than just showing up. Years later, I thanked Professors J.K. Flack and Malcolm Rutherford for giving me the grades I deserved. Those failures taught me to work hard enough to succeed well enough to earn a fellowship at a top Ph.D. program.
Fifth, even as you try different things and fail at some of them, make a backup plan. America is the land of Rocky Balboa. Rags-to-riches stories say to go for our dreams. Yet in practice, few of us get to live our dreams--my dream was to play in the NBA. So go for your dreams, but make a backup plan in case the dreams don't work out. And don't fear manual labor. Too many educators send the message that it is more noble to go to college than fix cars. It isn't, not so long as people need to drive.
Sixth, and this will be the only one about money: Save your money. As psychologist David Myers points out, more money brings more happiness--but mainly for poor people. Once you make enough to cover your basic needs, there is little relationship between money and happiness. So don't get caught up in the rat race to get ever more cheese. And spend carefully enough to save your money. Money in the bank means less temptation to break the law, any law.
Seventh, have more talent than ego. Only then will people miss you when you're gone. A big part of that is being honest. People will often tell me, as long as I'll listen, how great they are at everything, when in fact they are not very good at anything--other than bragging. I suspect they are lying to themselves; I know they are lying to me. Be an honest person, and find an honest occupation. With 150 million jobs in America, you probably can.
Finally, as Adlai Stevenson put it, always look up. Optimists have more fun, and get more done. Right now you may not be where you want to be. With work you will probably get there, or at least somewhere close by.
If you can manage those eight things, then no matter where (or if) you go to college, or how much money you make, or what anyone else thinks, you will succeed in your limited time on this planet.
For now, I just want to say savor this day, celebrate with your loved ones, and to quote Mr. Spock, "Live long and prosper!"
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Robert Maranto (rmaranto@uark.edu) is the 21st Century Chair in Leadership in the Department of Education Reform at the University of Arkansas.
Editorial on 07/21/2014