"We wouldn't ask for more money if we didn't think it would make us more money."
--Bishop Woosley, director of the Arkansas state lottery
Director Woosley could have been reciting Joel Grey's lines as the unctuous master of ceremonies in Cabaret. The decadent spirit of Weimar was in full, almost obscene, display as the emcee in full make-up danced with the fetching Liza Minnelli as dear, naive Sally Bowles, an American girl out to make it (and maybe anybody) in between-the-wars Berlin. The two tossed coins back and forth as they chanted/sang/invoked the slogan of their era and maybe not just their era: money, money, money. And noted that, when hunger comes rapping at the window, love flies out the door.
How cynical. Just like Weimar Germany, which, naturally enough, soon gave way to the Third Reich, for decadence has a way of inviting even worse.
That scene came back this week when the commission that "oversees" this state's official numbers racket voted to increase its advertising budget just as its bishop and director proposed--by $500,000 in the next fiscal year. Wheee! Money, money, money . . . . In the 12 months after that, expect your Arkansas Lottery to spend $4.5 million to attract even more suckers.
After all, something's got to be done. Ticket sales dropped in both 2013 and 2014--and how. Just during the first 10 months of 2014, the lottery's revenue has plummeted by $18 million compared to the same period the year before. The folks drawing those fine salaries at the Arkansas Lottery have had to get by on only $348 million this year.
That's $348 million that the suckers didn't spend on the rent, food, electric bills or maybe a nice meal with the family at a good restaurant before a quick trip to the mall. Which are all things that would really boost the local economy. Unlike just handing money to the state via those lottery terminals, and hoping some of it will eventually trickle down to college students. After overhead, of course, which in the lottery's case can be colossal.
But the lottery's advertising budget has been increased, just the way Bishop Woosley wanted, so get ready for more lottery ads. Think of the radio spots with the woman who sounds like she's smiling while she talks and is just about to burst into a fit of giddy laughter at the end of every sentence. If that's not the best incentive to switch stations in your car, or maybe just over to anything more culturally advanced--like static--we don't know what is.
But the lottery's Bishop Woosley says he wants to contract with two or three more advertising firms, especially with the fifth anniversary of the lottery coming up in September. He also wants to target what he calls the Under Performing Markets around the state. He must be referring to the various towns and counties where folks know what a scam the lottery is. Or as a governor from Louisiana, an old odds-player named Edwin Edwards, once noted while explaining why he himself wasn't about to play his own state's lottery: "The odds are terrible."
So get ready, Northwest and Northeast Arkansas. You've been, yes, under-performing. And something must be done about it. The laughing woman is coming.
Isn't the traditional gift for a five-year anniversary supposed to be wood? How about this year, we give the Arkansas lottery a nice engraving. Maybe of a song lyric. Something to remind lottery officials of the kind of folks you've probably seen standing in line at the convenience store, scratching away tickets in hope of riches that never come. That is, the least among us . . . .
If you haven't any coal in the stove
And you freeze in the winter
And you curse the wind at your fate.
When you haven't any shoes
on your feet
And your coat's thin as paper
And you look thirty pounds
underweight . . . .
--"Money Makes the World Go Round"
It may take some effort, but let's try to find some good news in all this. There's a reason those running the lottery are asking for more advertising dollars: The rest of us may be wising up. It seems the new has worn off the lottery, and its sales are drooping.
May they droop even more--until this state decides to do away with the whole racket altogether. And figure out a way to give scholarships to college students without soaking the poor suckers who don't just play the lottery, but think of it, so help us, as an investment. The lottery was a bad idea when it was ginned up five years ago and it hasn't gotten any better.
Happily, more and more folks seem to be catching on. And not even the slickest commercial may be able to seduce those who've learned better than to go for still another Get Rich Quick hustle.
Editorial on 05/23/2014