We're getting close to the time of year when Lake Superior State University in Michigan (among others) releases its annual banished-word list, but why should we wait? There are some words and phrases that deserve being put out to pasture far earlier, which should have happened to some before they even came into being.
I doubt there's a writer or editor alive who doesn't have a list of words that provoke retching, chills and overall nausea (or is that flu?).
For instance, fellow blogger Robert Bruce of Nashville, Tenn. (and the site 101Books.net), often writes about words and phrases that annoy him and that should die a horrible death, including such gems as "awesome sauce," "just sayin'," "YOLO," "deets" and "totes." I definitely have to agree with him, and would add these from my personal list:
• "To be sure," "at the end of the day," "in the fullness of time," etc. As introductory phrases, these add little to nothing to a sentence other than more words and an air of pomposity. Even more, they just make me want to take the speaker down a few notches.
• "Swath," used to indicate a large area. Some people really, really hate the word "moist"; this is my "moist." But unlike that particular word, it has no good one-word synonyms. Now, if we're talking about the width of an area cut by a scythe, that's different and wholly acceptable.
• "Make no mistake." Does this even need to be said, or are there times when people should intentionally make mistakes (and if it's intentional, can you really call it a mistake)?
• "I'm sorry if ..." When apologizing, just stop at "I'm sorry." Continuing with "if I upset you" or the equivalent might as well be "that you're such a whiner, but it's not my fault that you are." Take responsibility for your actions, and actually apologize. Just say "I'm sorry," unless you want a shoe shoved in a very uncomfortable place. If you do, please remove yourself from my sight.
• "Winner winner, chicken dinner!" Sure, it rhymes, but it's just plain annoying, and I'm sure the chicken's not too happy about it, either. It's even more annoying to me than that kid in grade school who thought that "super-duper Looper pooper-scooper" was a winner. I've still got my eye on you, kid.
• "Synergy." Like most jargon, it's the quickest way to put me to sleep, and cheaper than Ambien.
• "Libtard"/"Rethuglican." These insults are prolific on comment boards, and pretty much disprove any pretense to intelligent discussion, which is one reason you won't see them in published letters here. Occasional insults do make it through, but not these, and those that are used are generally not applied to a specific person.
• "Amongst"/"Amidst." There's almost never a good reason to use these ... unless you really want to tick off someone who likes the English language and doesn't live in Elizabethan England. It's "among" and "amid," please.
• "Verbing" of nouns. Call me a stick in the mud, but "author," "transition" and "friend" (among others) are nouns, so stop using them as verbs, especially when there are so many verbs that say it better. Yes, this sort of thing has been around for centuries (Benjamin Franklin once told Noah Webster the practice was "awkward and abominable"), but it seems to have reached critical mass now. Some nouns just are not meant for such treatment.
• "War on (fill in the blank)." If you read last week's column, you know my feelings on war rhetoric being used for things that in no way equate to actual war.
If you took that column to mean that I command an army of jack-booted thugs (someone apparently did), remember I have only a large cat with claws and a bad attitude ... and he only responds to commands when he wants to. Considering that he's had multiple vet visits recently in a small amount of time, that's pretty much never right now.
Regular readers know that we edit all the letters we publish--most only minimally, but a few more extensively to fix things such as misspellings and factual errors, or to make it clear that it's opinion. In fact, one of the quickest ways to ensure that your letter won't be printed is to refuse to allow it to be edited (another way is to harass staff; just don't).
Sometimes, though, the errors are on purpose for comic effect, as is the case with Becky Mitchum's letter, printed below. So no, before you ask, I wasn't asleep when I edited the letter.
I was, however, being slept on by an 18-pound cat who was very annoyed by my snickering. I'm off now to find the Band-Aids and antibiotic.
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Assistant Editor Brenda Looper is editor of the Voices page. Read her blog at blooper0223.wordpress.com.
Editorial on 11/26/2014