This is a quick glance at Christmas past, and all the work a great Christmas celebration entails.
A week before the big day, when the heavy lifting of Christmas is bearing down on a typical family, a familiar conversation takes place in a lot of homes: "Honey, I'll be gone most of the morning. I'm meeting Bob down at the range to help him sight in his new deer rifle--oh yeah; I forgot to tell you, my Aunt Bessie and her son Jeremy will be coming for Christmas dinner. Just add a couple of extra chairs, and don't forget Aunt Bessie is a vegan and Jeremy only eats gluten-free."
Door slams, and "Honey" mutters some words that can't be printed in a family newspaper.
Ladies, you know, by just changing the names and Christmas excuses, you have been there, and probably very recently. Yes, guys, by the time there are kids in the house, we've become more than masters at dodging Christmas chores.
Let's face it, the woman in our home is the unsung hero of Christmas, and without her work and sometimes frantic involvement, you wouldn't have much of a Christmas.
A quick look at the details will easily make my point. In today's Christmas, the season starts weeks before Thanksgiving, and as a starting point, multiple lists must be made. Naturally, it falls on the woman of the house to make these lists, and along with the lists, the first of many calls to relatives as she tries to determine who will be part of Christmas dinner. Yes, many calls. If you are naïve enough to think one call or text to 22 relatives will do it, you definitely haven't helped out at Christmas. And who do you think makes the multiple lists of presents to buy, how many will be served and, of course, who actually goes and buys most of that stuff?
Well, of course, it's the woman of the house who is actually in charge of Christmas.
Yes, women are in charge of Christmas, and if you don't believe it, try moving a Christmas wreath or candle without clearing it with the woman in charge. But let's move forward with what happens to those multiple lists. And of course, to the stacks of Christmas cards that have to be addressed and mailed out. Yep, that's for the woman in charge of Christmas to do.
And, if you're in charge of Christmas, you want to be sure the outside decorations don't look as if your husband just walked by and threw a mixture of lights on the first tree or bush he happened to pass by. And then there are the multiple final--like the day before--phone calls to try and pin down the last relative holdouts to see who will honor you with their presence.
There are the daily reminders to the family, such as "Bob, have you bought your mother a gift?" And then there is the hassle of exactly what everybody wants you to prepare for Christmas dinner, and then, as the days pass, there are requests for changes: "Honey, let's do something different this year. How about a goose, or you could just pop a standing rib roast in the oven?"
Yes, the answer from the woman in charge is also unprintable.
Then, as the big day approaches, tension builds. Extra "to dos" flood in, and there's always, "Honey, why aren't you going to make Grandmother's rolls instead of going to Wal-Mart?" Uh, huh, another unprintable answer.
Of course, Christmas dinner is always fraught with extra pressure. "Honey, the mashed potatoes are cold."
Splat!
Finally, dinner is about to be served, and there is a last-minute push to seat everybody properly. "Bob, don't seat Uncle Joe next to your brother unless you want a Republican and a tree-hugger disrupting dinner."
And now comes the clean-up of some 100+ dirty plates, etc., which some guilty-conscience guys will step in to help.
"Damn it, Bob, don't put the good china in the dishwasher--unless you want to go there!" Yes, tempers flare from the tension and exhaustion. But sooner, or sometimes a lot later in the day, it's all over.
I know several hardworking women who slaved over this past Christmas, and their late-afternoon texts on Christmas Day tell the story of the women in charge of Christmas. These are actual texts:
"They all left at 11! Thank God! I'm exhausted!"
"God, I was so tired, I took a 2-hour nap."
"Gone! Gone! They're all gone!"
So as we remember Christmas past, let's not forget the woman in charge of your Christmas. And while we're on the subject of hardworking, smart women who are in charge of Christmas, let's ask the governor: Why couldn't one of these tough women serve on the Game and Fish Commission or the Highway Commission?
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Richard Mason is president of Gibraltar Energy Co., and a former president of the Arkansas Wildlife Federation. He lives in El Dorado.
Editorial on 01/17/2015