I got a phone call the other night that I keep thinking about from one of my dearest friends.
Whereas I can talk for hours on the phone, she likes to keep it short and sweet. This friend, who happens to be 82 years old, said she had learned that when she got this feeling, she should act on it: “I just want to tell you that I love you, and I think you’re wonderful.”
We talked for just a minute — because she’s not a phone person — and she repeated her message to me. I told her the same.
In the past week, I’ve been to a birthday party for my amazing 91-year-old father-in-law, who played golf that same day with my husband and brother-in-law, a funeral for an 88-year-old in the extended family, who up until a few weeks ago was living life to the fullest, and I saw a much younger member of that family who had open-heart surgery to repair a congenital defect that was found accidentally and could have killed him by the end of the summer, the doctor said.
The older I get, the more important I realize it is to savor life.
At 51, I already have regrets about time I’ve wasted or decisions I made. I will never forgive myself for not attending my mother’s retirement party her friends and co-workers gave her after she had taught for 35 years. I was “busy” at work. I have no idea now, of course, what was so important that I couldn’t leave. The answer is — it wasn’t.
I didn’t learn my lesson, though. I’ve spent entire summers working through lunch most days instead of going with my husband or friends who asked me. Last week, I considered working through lunch again, but I spent the hour with my husband. I don’t regret that one bit, and I got my work done.
I often think about a friend of mine who died a few years ago in her early 40s. We were across-the-street neighbors for a while, but she had moved, and I lost touch with her.
It’s hard to keep ties with everyone in your life — some people are better than others at it. We do have responsibilities with our jobs and families. We can’t just sit around and stare at each other all day.
My friend who called the other night mentioned a book she wanted to get called Savor. I went to the bookstore and bought it for her. It’s a daily devotional, and it also has recipes to “savor.” This woman is a wonderful cook, so she’ll actually try some of them. (No one would ever intentionally buy me a book with recipes.) The recipes are included, according to a synopsis of the book, because spiritual living happens not only when we pray, but when we get together with family and friends over meals. That’s true.
One of my favorite parts of my father-in-law’s birthday party (besides my sister-in-law’s a-maz-ing chocolate cake) was listening to him tell stories as we sat around the table after dinner.
Last week on my father-in-law’s actual birthday, some family members went to eat lunch with him. It was on my busiest day of the week at work, so I didn’t go. The reality is, sometimes we really do have obligations and have to miss special moments.
But sometime this weekend, I plan to call a friend I haven’t talked to in a while and say: “I just want to tell you that I love you, and I think you’re wonderful.”
Senior writer Tammy Keith can be reached at (501) 327-0370 or tkeith@arkansasonline.com.