"Machine wash, warm."
"Tumble dry, low heat."
"Nonchlorine bleach as needed."
They're the kind of laundering directions we expect when we examine clothing care labels.
Unlike this:
WASHING INSTRUCTIONS
GIVE THIS JERSEY
TO YOUR WOMAN
IT'S HER JOB
It's a genuine label on an actual garment -- complete with implied ownership, capitals and bold just like that. And it wasn't found inside an Andrew Dice Clay shirt or University of Oklahoma Sigma Alpha Epsilon (where racism abounds, expect sexism too) pledge tee.
The label appears inside jerseys for the Indonesian Super League team Pusamania Borneo, made by an Indonesian outfit called Salvo. A photo of the label -- along with the caption: "A gentle reminder from @SALVO_ID jersey" shared by Twitter user Viola (@veeola) went viral, airing Salvo's dirty laundry.
Of course it would be noticed and shared by a woman. Have you ever known men to actually read -- let alone heed -- laundering directions?
Men tend to throw it all -- whites, darks -- in the washer with hot water and way too much detergent, and then throw it all -- delicates too -- in the dryer (the one they haven't cleaned the lint screen on and wonder why drying is taking so long) in a wad. They forget about the clothes, letting them languish until they're so wrinkled and stale they should be washed again. But instead, they'll throw them -- creases and all -- on tangled, mismatched hangers. Eventually, when they have nothing neat and decent to wear, they'll surrender and schlep the entire closet contents to the dry cleaner.
Notice even the macho mascot of immaculateness, Mr. Clean, stops at laundry. He peddles all kinds of cleansers, but no laundry detergent: Liquid Muscle With the Scent of Gain detergent is the closest he dares to come.
But we bet Alan Langford is a clothes-washing wizard.
We don't know Langford, but he tweeted this gem, "Hey @SALVO_ID management: you should leave running the business to 'your' woman. Looks like she'll do a better job. Idiots. #SalvoSports."
Most of the online eye-rolling came from women. Women like Karina Voggel who tweeted: "And just a FYI to shirt manufactures: My job is to be a scientist/astronomer, NOT doing Laundry! #sostupid." Right on, Karina -- even if, oops, you misspelled "manufacturers." My job is to be a writer/editor.
Suddenly Salvo had a social media mess on its hands and -- ack! --no woman to sweep it up. Realizing the company didn't want the issue to permanently stain its reputation, it issued a mea culpa.
If we thought maybe Salvo was joking, we soon realized it was serious. Seriously simpleminded.
"The message is simply, instead of washing it in the wrong way you might as well give it to a lady because they are more capable," Salvo stated. "There's no intention to humiliate women. ... Not all men understand/know how to take care of their own clothes, women are more knowledgeable/experts on such matters. We apologize profusely for any miss-interpretations."
In other words, well, "GIVE THIS JERSEY TO YOUR WOMAN. IT'S HER JOB."
In apologizing, Salvo offered nothing but its original assertion: "Ladies" are naturally superior at undesirable domestic chores -- which is just a nice way of saying inferior. And therefore HER JOB is bearing the burden of them all while he does HIS JOB, having fun, playing sports.
Like that's going to wash with women.
Come clean, email:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood.
Style on 03/17/2015