Dear Mahatma: Seventh Street in downtown Little Rock is bad news. What plans does the city have for fixing it? -- Bumpity Bump
Dear Bumpity: The bag is mixed. Jennifer Godwin, who once worked in this newsroom but who went straight and now speaks for the city, said a resurfacing of Seventh from Woodrow to Pine is funded for this year. But that's not really downtown. You speak, Bumpity, of the grueling roadway The Mahatma sometimes travels from the Capitol to Rock Street. Many other drivers, as well, know it's beastly in many places.
Alas, there are two requests for Seventh Street resurfacing that are not yet funded. They are Seventh from Broadway west to Chester; and Seventh from Broadway east to Ferry. The Board of Directors will take up the matter of these and other improvements late this year or in early 2016, Godwin said.
Golly, she added, requests for improvements surpass available funding.
To put it another way: There are more resurfacing needs in heaven and in Little Rock, Bumpity, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Vanity plate seen in Little Rock: TODALOO. Our contributor said this would make a good name for a dog.
Dear Mahatma: I live in Conway and see there are several large, dead trees in the median of Interstate 40 near mile marker 133. Does the Arkansas Highway and Transportation Department intend to remove the trees before they fall on their own, perhaps into traffic? Your wisdom and insight are appreciated. -- Jerry
Dear Jerry: We ran your question past Herself. She said the part about wisdom and insight was to laugh. A prophet is not without honor, doncha know?
Yes, the Highway Department reported back: The plan is to remove those dead trees. The work will be done as it fits into the agency's maintenance schedule, and so there is no exact date yet.
Vanity plate seen on a Range Rover: MAXDOUT. Said our contributor, "Well, yeah!"
Dear Mahatma: On U.S. 70 and 270, between Haskell and Lake Ouachita, there are over a dozen signs that mark side roads. Most have a small sign underneath that says 45 MPH. Never in the history of road signs have so many been so ignored. -- This Dude Abides
Dear Dude: Based on The Mahatma's travels that way, and every other way, these signs are meant to slow down drivers. See above, it is to laugh.
Our reading of the highway map shows that this route passes through Saline and Garland counties. Is more enforcement needed? The sheriff of Saline County is Rodney Wright. His phone number is (501) 303-5609. The sheriff of Garland County is Mike McCormick. His phone number is (501) 622-3660.
Please remember that if enforcement is requested and you travel this route, there is the possibility of being hoisted by your own petard. Man, those petards hurt.
Vanity plate seen on a Honda: FLYINRN. We reckon a nurse in medical helicopters.
Mahatma@arkansasonline.com
Metro on 09/19/2015