Dear Otus,
Once again the annual scourge is upon us, where capitalism intrudes upon reason and reality. Monday is the so-called "Presidents' Day," a day that lives in infamy for many reasons.
As is my habit, I intend to make my Ardis Ann Middle School civics students recite from your famous column that you reprint every February in hopes that they will become enlightened in the error of their ways.
Thank you, again, for your continued attempt to correct this egregious affront to our first president.
-- Stephanie Lynn,
Bentonville
Dear Stephanie,
It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you and to congratulate you on guiding those warm skulls full of mush toward the light. Here, for your classroom edification, is my annual "Presidents' Day" column that first ran on Feb. 26, 2000.
•••
The divisive national nightmare continues, with Americans split into opposite camps.
Presidents' Day or George Washington's Birthday? The nation hasn't seen such discord since the fractious unpleasantness over whether the year 2000 is actually the new millennium. Note: It isn't.
Legally and even morally, Monday is George Washington's Birthday (observed). However, vast indolent segments of society, cowed by the advertising industry and too lethargic to think for themselves, continue to refer to the holiday as the generic and odious "Presidents' Day" despite an act of Congress that keeps the original name that honors our first president.
In a recent official proclamation, President Bill Clinton referred to "Presidents' Day" (note the all-inclusive plural possessive apostrophe). In reality, the third Monday in February has been since its inception "George Washington's Birthday." Not Presidents' Day. Not Washington/Lincoln Day.
It is a holiday intended for Americans to ponder the accomplishments of our first president and to take a day from work to celebrate Washington's place in history through conspicuous spending and consumption.
Thus it was a brazen and egregious slap in the face of Congress that Clinton issued a formal "Presidential Proclamation of Presidents' Day." He was following in the footsteps of disgraced former President Richard Nixon, who was first so shamefully self-serving with a similar proclamation in 1971.
Here is part of the Clinton address:
"I am pleased to join all Americans in observing Presidents' Day. Today we salute the leadership and achievements of all those who have held America's highest elected office, and we celebrate with special pride the rich legacies of Presidents Washington and Lincoln."
There is some fluff and filler before Clinton gets back to the egocentric, chest-thumping part where he puts himself on the same level as Washington and Lincoln.
"It was within view of our national monuments to these two great leaders that thousands of our fellow Americans recently joined the first lady and me in welcoming in the first moments of the 21st century."
He then finishes, contorting to pat himself on the back and throw his presumed successor a bone.
"The era of unrivaled prosperity and peace during which I have had the good fortune to lead this country with Vice President Al Gore by my side affords us a singular opportunity to reaffirm the values of Washington and Lincoln that have shaped our national character for more than 200 years."
My Head Cat investigative staff dug deep into the archives to uncover Nixon's proclamation of Feb. 21, 1971, when all this "Presidents' Day" controversy began.
As with Clinton's, Nixon's statement was intended to flout tradition and reserve for himself some modicum of respectability that history normally affords those who have actually accomplished something without disgracing the office.
"My fellow Americans," Nixon said, "it is with great pride that Pat, Tricia, Julie and I wish you the happiest of Presidents' Days, the first such three-day holiday set aside to honor all presidents, including [pauses and chuckles] myself. Pat and I plan to celebrate at one of many Presidents' Day sales, purchasing for her a good Republican cloth coat."
That duplicitous attempt to co-op Washington's birthday into an affirmation of his own legacy started Nixon down the slippery slope that eventually led to his resignation Aug. 9, 1974.
Until next time, Kalaka reminds you that banks and federal offices will be closed Feb. 22 for Vice Presidents' Day.
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Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat's award-winning column of
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HomeStyle on 02/13/2016