You know this is a strange summer when local tourism groups start telling Northeasterners to come to South Florida in July to make a "quick escape" from the heat.
Seriously. The Cultural Council of Palm Beach County issued an invitation to Snowbird Land this week under the heading: "How to Survive a Heat Dome: Escape to the Palm Beaches for Culture and Comfort."
You don't often see the word "comfort" to describe late July in South Florida. Especially one that has been 4 degrees warmer than usual, with 10 daily heat records, and a scarcity of those cooling afternoon thunderstorms. But, hey, we live in interesting times, and apparently it could be worse.
We should, I guess, be thankful that we don't have a "heat dome" hovering over Palm Beach County. We have more of a heat crock pot, which has been simmering with the lid on since May, and we're not quite yet halfway cooked.
But technically speaking, the temperatures in the Northeast this past weekend did come close to 100 degrees while we were at a relatively cool 89 degrees.
So there's at least a factual basis for suggesting a trip to South Florida in late July as a way to cool off, although maybe "cool" is too strong of a word. It's more like to "slightly reduce your risk for heat stroke." But that might not be enticing enough.
You've got to admit, it sounds crazy. Getting away from the heat by visiting Florida in July sounds like eating liverwurst to improve your breath, getting a Star Wars tattoo to meet women, or putting a baby to sleep by playing lullabies on the bagpipes.
But at least we don't have a heat dome, which is a high-pressure system that traps descending air inside it, making that air get warmer. And as that air moves across the Midwest it picks up moisture from crops, which is known as "corn sweat," driving up the humidity even more.
We don't have corn sweat, either. We just have the kind of sweat that runs down the small of your back while waiting for the car's air conditioner to kick in. I think they call that "crack sweat."
We do have our own exotic weather influence, Sahara Desert dust. It traps moisture as it travels across the Atlantic, bringing another kind of uncomfortable condition over us. It's why nighttime low temperatures have failed on many nights to get lower than 80 degrees.
Lately the heat index, which is a measure of what the temperature feels like, has hovered around 103 degrees in the afternoons.
This may be comfortable to iguanas. But I'm guessing the snowbirds might start pining for their heat dome again.
Nevertheless, it's time we all pitch in with some slogans to entice heat-battered tourists to visit Palm Beach County in July and August for our superior summer weather.
Here are five suggestions:
We're not sweating, we're glowing.
Cool off in our 82-degree ocean.
Get here before things get hot in September.
Visit Palm Beach County, now 67.9 percent indoors.
Feel the Burn! (Only for use on millennials.)
Editorial on 07/30/2016