Dear Otus,
As Halloween nears, I notice things are starting to get weird with this creepy clown situation. I see that our sheriff here in Cross County has issued some sort of zero tolerance warning. I know somewhere Emmett Kelley is weeping.
Disclaimer: Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat's award-winning column of 👉 humorous fabrication 👈 appears every Saturday.
-- Lou Jacobs,
Parkin
Dear Lou,
It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you and to thank you for allowing me to address this current epidemic of creepy clown sightings.
First of all, the big picture.
In popular culture, the fear of clowns is labeled coulrophobia, however, the World Health Organization's International Classification of Phobias (commonly known as ICP-10), designates the affliction as Canio-Nedda Syndrome.
By whatever name, the fear of clowns is real and may very well be congenital with the human species.
According to psychology professor Dr. Apu Nahasapeemapetilon of the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences, "Young children react negatively to the monstrous or deformed features of clowns -- hands, feet, noses, hairstyles -- in a predictable manner related to the 'uncanny valley effect' measurement that came into vogue following the release of the seminal movie Tobor the Great in 1954."
The uncanny valley effect is the hypothesis that robots or androids that appear almost, but not quite, lifelike elicit feelings of fear in many small children who then carry this revulsion throughout their lives.
Secondly, creepy clown sightings have been with us ever since the motley jester Touchstone in Shakespeare's As You Like It (ca. 1599). That's the play where Touchstone threatens to kill William, his romantic rival, "a hundred and fifty ways," thus becoming history's first "killer klown."
And finally, yes, Sheriff J.R. Smith's "zero tolerance" declaration for Cross County was posted on his Facebook page last week. He said, "If someone wishes to dress up and conceal their identity with the intent to scare or harass our citizens, they will be arrested and transported to the sheriff's office. I will not tolerate anyone engaging in this type of activity."
This came after a solitary clown sighting was reported in Wynne. That was the first for Cross County, but as of this writing, there have been 67 creepy clown sightings from Rogers to Lake Village, Piggott to Texarkana. It's just that time of year for high-spirited youth.
Smith clarified, "We're not talking about someone dressed as a clown such as Bozo." But creepy is subjective. How is the general public to determine creepiness?
In response, state officials have established an online reporting system for those who have experienced creepy clown sightings. Find the Clown Victim Notification link and reporting form at arkansas.gov.
Once you are at the site, you'll find a Creepy Clown Scale that ranks clown creepiness from 1 to 10, with No. 1 being the least creepy and 10 being almost paralyzing. Pick only one:
Bozo the Clown (franchised from 1956 by Larry Harmon). Born Lawrence Weiss, Harmon got so rich off the beloved clown, he was married four times.
Weary Willie (Emmett Kelly). Kelly's legendary hobo character would be creepy if he wasn't so sad.
Ronald McDonald (McDonald's spokesclown, originally played by Willard Scott).
Betelgeuse (Beetlejuice). Played by Michael Keaton, the clownish ghost is noted for his wild hair and zebra-striped outfit.
Krusty the Clown (The Simpsons). Voiced by Dan Castellaneta, Krusty (real name: Herschel Shmoikel Pinchas Yerucham Krustofsky) is a cynical, burnt-out, addiction-riddled has-been.
The Joker (Batman). The green-haired sadist is the psychopathic Clown Prince of Crime.
Hop-Frog (Edgar Allen Poe's Hop-Frog; Or, the Eight Chained Ourangoutangs). This dwarf and crippled court jester burned alive the king and his entire court.
Canio (Pagliacci). I know it's hard to take opera clowns seriously, but Canio slices and dices a couple of folks right on the stage.
Pennywise the Dancing Clown (It). Tim Curry secured his career playing this shapeshifting, child-murdering demonic entity.
Pogo the Clown (This was the clown persona of serial killer John Wayne Gacy. No one has adopted this costume since 1978, so if you see someone dressed as Pogo, report immediately).
Until next time, Kalaka reminds you that clown sighting response is on a triage basis as resources permit, so mark your choice carefully.
Disclaimer
Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat's award-winning column of
Z humorous fabrication X
appears every Saturday. Email:
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HomeStyle on 10/08/2016