It's Super Bowl Sunday. Or Cheese Dip Bowl Sunday, as we think of it.
We don't care who wins (though we'd prefer it if Tom Brady of the New England Patriots loses, making his deflated ego match his footballs). After all, isn't everyone a winner -- winner, spicy chicken wings dinner! -- on snackfest Sunday?
Here are some random Bowl bits.
• This is Super Bowl LI. No, that doesn't mean Super Bowl Lithium or Super Bowl Long Island. LI is 51 in Roman numerals. Of course, why we use Roman numerals to count championships when Italians consider "football" (or "calcio") to be soccer we have no clue.
• This year's game between the Patriots and the Atlanta Falcons will begin at 5:30 p.m. on Fox. Which means -- D'oh! -- you won't get to see The Simpsons, now in its 28th (!) season. Don't have a cow, man. Or do, and pass the meatballs and the sliders.
• And pass the chips. Tostitos, the official chip of Super Bowl LI, has created a battery-operated "Party Safe" bag that acts like an unofficial breathalyzer (turning red if you're too tipsy to drive and containing a $10 Uber voucher for a ride). Of course, if you require backup from a Tostitos bag to confirm that you're sober, you're probably really Tost-ed.
• The game is being played at the 15-year-old NRG Stadium in Houston, which has a retractable roof and cost $352 million to build. Or, to look at it another way, it cost 70.4 Super Bowl commercials ($5 million per 30 mere seconds) to build.
• Having no commercial during this year's game is Heinz Ketchup. Instead, Kraft Heinz is getting plenty of free publicity by giving all its employees tomorrow off and creating an online petition to make Super Bowl Monday -- "Smunday" -- a national holiday. We wish other companies would "ketch-up."
• Speaking of petitions, there is one to have halftime act Lady Gaga replaced. As of press time, some 50,000 people signed, wishing for Georgia music acts to do the show instead. At least we think that's what this means: "Halftime should be Migos killing 'Bad and Boujee,' Future kills em with March Madness, then Outkast comes out and does an AQUEMINI sampler .... Very Simple, the Atlanta Falcons are in the Super Bowl and it's gonna be in Houston. Two of the TRILLEST hip-hop communities under ONE ROOF. Your entertainment choices have to change RIGHT NOW." We comprehend at least this much: When it comes to meat-dress-wearer Gaga, they clearly have a beef.
• As for Gaga, who had a taste of the Super Bowl spotlight last year when she performed the national anthem, it has been rumored that she's not content just to raise the roof, she wants to perform on the stadium's retractable roof. That would be one way to elevate things.
• Performing the national anthem this year is country singer Luke Bryan -- the first male to do so in 10 years (Billy Joel performed it in 2007). Betting types want to know will Bryan beat Alicia Keys' 2013 rendition that lasted a record 156.4 seconds? We just want to know will he beat Christina Aguilera's 2011 rendition and get all the lyrics right?
• Those who care less about pigskin and more about adorable, adoptable pooches can tune in to Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl XIII -- and the crowning of the MVP (Most Valuable Pup) -- beginning at 2 p.m. The action will be paws-itively unleashed!
• Cat fans can tune in to the "ultimate feline catstravaganza" Kitten Bowl IV at 11 a.m. today on the Hallmark Channel. Consider us purr-suaded. We can't imagine anything more a-mews-ing. Litter-ally.
Don't fumble. Pass an email:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
Spin Cycle is a smirk at pop culture. You can hear Jennifer on Little Rock's KURB-FM, B98.5 (B98.com), from 5:30 to 9 a.m. Monday through Friday.
Style on 02/05/2017