I always return to the topic of apostrophes.
A while back I learned about the Apostrophe Protection Society, based in Boston, England. John Richards had been a newspaper editor for decades. He had seen many atrocities done to the English language, but what always bothered him most were apostrophes that showed up where they didn't belong and apostrophes missing when they were needed.
After Richards retired, misplaced apostrophes continued to haunt him.
At the spry age of 75, he decided he could be silent no more. With his son, he formed the Apostrophe Protection Society in 2001. Soon, society members began sending form letters to businesses where apostrophe abuse was occurring.
The letters began:
"Dear Sir or Madam,
"Because there seems to be some doubt about the use of the apostrophe, we are taking the liberty of drawing your attention to an incorrect use."
They sent the letter to Sweeney Todd, "the modern mans barber shop."
They sent the letter to a store with "ladies fashions."
They sent the letter to a pub where the weekly current-events board read, "whats on."
They were largely ignored. An early victory was at the library, where the staff removed the apostrophe from the sign that had read, "CD's."
So how should apostrophes be used?
Some people think that to make something plural, an apostrophe and an "s" are what you need. Maybe you have driven up to someone's house and noticed a wooden sign proudly proclaiming:
The Anderson's
Did you then wonder which Anderson the house belongs to? It should be, of course, "The Andersons."
In this case, an apostrophe is used to show possession when it shouldn't be. Here are other examples of incorrect usage that I found on the internet.
Restaurant sign: Tonight's (right) special's (wrong)
Menu: Pancake's
Hair salon: Walkin's welcome
Rest stop: Commercial vehicle's turn here
When an apostrophe is needed, some people just don't know where to put it:
Wrong: Childrens' books
Wrong: Mens' department
"Children" and "men" are words that are already plural, so they don't need the s' -- they need 's.
Today, the Apostrophe Protection Society is still going strong. I first emailed Richards in 2013. I told him that I was a big fan. I used a few exclamation points to emphasize my respect for him.
"How goes the war?" I asked then.
The seemingly tireless man, then in his mid-80s, answered: "Winning a few battles, but the armistice is still way off. However, we carry on fighting."
The society's website has lessons on apostrophes and other grammatical gaffes. It has photos of signs that infuriate members.
Some examples:
Sweet bun's
Clearen's sale
Saturday's in July and August
Don't leave children's any where
Opening soon. New member's club
Early bird get's the right size.
I emailed Richards again in December, and though he still sounded relentless, he was decidedly grimmer.
Here's how he answered:
"The battle continues, but I don't think we are really winning. Ignorance and apathy are our main enemies, but there is good news in that Harvey's of Bristol (famous for beers and sherry) has brought back the apostrophe in its official title after some years. But the bookshop Waterstones has dropped its apostrophe (a shameful decision).
"I still receive a couple of emails a week from people wanting to know where to put an apostrophe in their sentences, so people are still showing an interest. In general, the media are not being helpful, and the internet often won't allow apostrophes to be used at all.
"Generally speaking, many people have only the slightest knowledge of grammar, which is often incorrectly used in national newspapers and websites. It's all part of the 'can't be bothered' attitude so common today, particularly among the younger generation.
"But our flag is still flying."
I love this guy.
Sources: apostrophe.org.uk, The New York Times
Reach Bernadette at
bkwordmonger@gmail.com
ActiveStyle on 01/09/2017