I admit from the start to a sentimental streak in general for "lost arts," especially those that elevate humankind to higher strata of civilization.
The nostalgic affection surges even stronger when I'm a practitioner of such an activity myself, and start to feel like a relic because of it.
Years ago, or rather decades ago, I remember lots of men whistling happy tunes. While they worked. Dreaming of a white Christmas. Marching along the bridge on the river Kwai.
The old Andy Griffith show always began with a finely whistled melody. Decades later, nobody remembers its title ("The Fishin' Hole") or authors (Earle Hagen and Herbert Spencer) but the folksy ditty is indelibly associated with the comedic adventures of Sheriff Taylor and Deputy Fife. Rolling Stone called it possibly the most recognized theme song ever.
One of the most famous lines in film history was delivered by Slim (Lauren Bacall) in To Have and Have Not: "You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together, and ... blow."
Other storied actors also attached legendary lines to whistling.
What western movie aficionado can forget Clint Eastwood's challenge in The Outlaw Josey Wales, uttered through gritted teeth at a trio of Union soldiers: "Are you going to pull those pistols or just whistle Dixie?"
Or John Wayne's gruff retort as Rooster Cogburn in True Grit to Glen Campbell's LaBoeuf, when he finally has enough of the latter whistling while they ride along the trail: "Damn a man that whistles!"
That line was true to Charles Portis' original novel, and in the book it was followed by the narrator's observation: "It was the wrong thing to say if he wished it to stop."
Not all whistling is of the cheery sort. There have been some truly creepy whistling moments and characters in movies. An early example was Peter Lorre way back in the 1931 German thriller M, where the child-murderer whistled prior to his attacks.
Quentin Tarantino fans will recall Darryl Hannah as an eye-patched assassin whistling her way down a hospital hallway in Kill Bill: Vol.1. Ironically, the haunting whistled song is the main theme from a 1968 British horror movie called Twisted Nerve.
Few are born whistlers; I couldn't whistle a lick till I was a junior in high school. Prior to that, my experience had been a classic case of the difference between knowledge and application.
Whistling is a sound made by the turbulence generated in an airstream at the narrow orifice formed by pursing the lips. The pitch and harmonic content is modulated by the relative position and posture of the tongue in relation to the teeth.
Simple mechanics. But try as I might, I couldn't convert to practical reality the theory I understood, and longingly observed in others. Then one day, I could. And ever since, I've relished the joy of expressing the song in my head or heart through whistling.
(For the record: Wolf-whistles aren't whistling; that's a vulgarism, at best.)
Like many, I'm something of an absent-minded whistler. Oftentimes I don't realize I'm doing it; it just flows forth unconsciously.
There's not always even a conscious choice of the melody, which can run the full range of source songs: popular radio hits, instrumental music or archetypal originals like the unforgettable whistling classics I referenced earlier.
But being classics, those are pretty old (the dwarves first whistled "heigh-ho" in 1937; der Bingle harmonized his snowy yule crooning in 1942; the bridge-building Brits in Kwai whistled cadence in 1957).
Whistling has figured favorably in songs of more recent vintage, too, especially some big hits from the 1980s.
The J. Geils Band reached No. 1 on the pop charts in 1982 with "Centerfold," which closes with a whistled version of its upbeat refrain.
There's a whistle sequence right in the middle of the Bangles' No. 1 smash "Walk Like An Egyptian" from 1986.
Contemporary with that was Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy," which was the first a cappella song to top the Billboard charts in 1988. Its first 26 seconds is nothing but whistling, accompanied by finger snapping.
Whistling is also the opening sequence in OneRepublic's "Good Life," released in 2011. Lead singer Ryan Tedder said the song was actually built around the whistle.
Current artists, including Maroon 5 and Bruno Mars, have also helped bring whistling back in vogue to musical audiences--whether or not they actually whistle along.
In September, the Masters of Musical Whistling crowned a world champion from 30 contestants representing seven different countries: Derek Bodkin of Monterey, Calif.
Still, whistling seems old-fashioned to many, and not practiced as widely as it once was.
Accompanying the fast-approaching holiday season will be the wonderful repertoire of seasonal music that combines ancient carols with newly composed songs--in short, a whistler's delight of nearly endless daily selections from which to choose.
Whistlers at Christmastime predictably amplify their own good cheer, sometimes to the annoyance or vexation of already exasperated shoppers.
We apologize profusely in advance.
The "Those who can't sing whistle" club's membership may be dwindling; yours truly is honored to be among them.
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Dana D. Kelley is a freelance writer from Jonesboro.
Editorial on 11/03/2017