Feathers glued to walls.
Sand as living room flooring.
Furniture affixed to the ceiling.
They were designers' tricks of the trade on Trading Spaces, the trailblazing -- and usually tasteless -- remodeling show that aired from 2000 to 2008. (And really, those were just one designer's tricks-- Hildi Santo-Tomas. She was the best at being the worst!)
Fans might remember the show did a few Arkansas episodes, including a makeover of CASA (Committee Against Spouse Abuse) Women's Shelter in Pine Bluff in 2004 for a Christmas special.
Ten years later, the rebooted show recently premiered on TLC. Part one of a reunion show and Episode 1 of Season 9 aired April 7, with part two of the reunion show and Episode 2 airing Saturday night. New episodes are at 7 p.m. Saturdays; catch up online at tlc.com.
The show might be about redesign, but the new episodes are just like the old ones. With the help of zany designers and hunky carpenters, two two-member teams of neighbors redo a room in the others' home in just two days before the big reveal results in utter excitement or -- more fun to watch -- ugly crying.
The budget is bigger. Whereas $1,000 used to be Trading Spaces' popcorn ceiling, $2,000 is now the limit. And the sponsorships seem even more obvious, from Lowe's name prominently displayed on the carpentry tent to a Wayfair pop-up shop from which homeowners can select one free home decor item for the room.
New folks will be added. But all the faces of Episode 1 -- including perky Paige Davis who is back to host this season -- are familiar.
Carpenters Ty Pennington and Carter Oosterhouse are back to hammering and still handsome. It is so good to see them again that we almost forgot all about Pennington's DUI from 2007 when he admittedly "Ty-ed" on a few too many (is that a fake tan or tequila making his complexion so ruddy?). And we almost forgot the allegations of sexual misconduct made against Carter in December (TLC president Nancy Davis told reporters at the January Television Critics Association press tour, "At the end of the day, we feel very comfortable continuing with Carter in the show." So expect no cast retooling).
Episode 1 also features the return of Trading Spaces' most controversial designers: the aforementioned Hildi -- fastener of hay to walls -- and Doug Wilson, who once patterned a bedroom after a prison cell.
This time, Trading Spaces assists two Simi Valley, Calif, sisters -- Melissa (with husband Keith) and Michele (with husband Ryan) who live next door to one another -- to remodel each other's spaces. Great, Trading Spaces isn't just going to ruin their homes, but all their future holidays.
Michele wants her bedroom to be "something relaxing, maybe a little romantic." But with Doug designing her space, that will never happen. Melissa tells Doug about Michele and Ryan: "The both really love Hawaii, and I was kinda hoping to bring in some like tropical vibe, but kind of in a calm way." As if Doug knows the meaning of "calm."
He does know the meaning of burlap, however, and tons of that is stapled to the walls in the room that also gets a platform bed and garish green accents. We'd guess Michele and Ryan want to give their relatives a Hawaiian punch, but they act like they love it.
And Melissa wants her "guestless guest bedroom" to be a space where her mother will want to stay because now she just sleeps at Michele's house on the sofa. We can't help but notice the original room is ordinary, but not awful. Poor Melissa doesn't realize her mother must despise her. It's not the decor she prefers, it's the daughter. And there's no way that Hildi's glue gun can remedy this broken situation.
Paige attempts to describe the rationale behind the oppressive pink-navy-yellow geometric pattern on the walls and ceiling on the new guest room to Melissa who has a thing for penguins: "Hildi got the idea because she saw these colors and this fabric as like a deconstructed penguin!" We'll give her that; the look, accented by blown-out eggs strung about, is definitely for the birds.
Melissa goes from wowed to weepy: "It's very bold. ... I do like it. ... It's going to grow on me." She secretly hates it like her mother hates her.
Just one episode in, we're reminded how much we have missed relationships being tested by Trading's tawdriness.
We're really going to enjoy Space-ing out again.
Let's trade emails:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
Spin Cycle is a weekly smirk at pop culture.
Style on 04/15/2018