It's time for beddy-bye. You are getting sleepy. So very sleepy. The temperature is dropping outside. Isn't that lovely? Doesn't this change in weather make you want to take a nappy-nap? You can sleep. It's okay. Your eyes are getting heavy. Off to la-la land. Hush little baby don't say a word.
Somebody saw you in Sherwood, off U.S. 67, and we know just the spot, too. Near Warden Road. In the deep winter, the places is packed with ducks.
No, no, don't worry about those ducks. Forget we mentioned it. You are getting sleepy.
They say once the temperature drops below 70 degrees, you critters stop eating. And start to dig out a winter spot in the swamp. Better to bury yourself for protection against the winter winds. Surely you've done so by now. You're getting so sleepy. Not hungry. No movement. Just sleepy.
Those of us who drive down that way know just where you are. And it's a safe place for a gator. The Game and Fish probably won't bother you at all, unless some foolish two-legged critter goes out there to disturb you. You never know with our species. One of the best Onion headlines in recent memory was: "Alligators still dangerous no matter how drunk you are."
Officials don't plan any action at all, as long as you stay there, and the rest of us don't get in your way. The worst thing we could do would be to feed you. Then you become a nuisance. The state has to "put down" nuisance animals that get used to people, which is euphemism for something worse. But don't you worry about that now. It's cold at night. Cold-blooded creatures must rest. So go to sleep.
And here's a suggestion when spring arrives in a few months:
Head south.
See ya later, alligator.
Editorial on 10/21/2019