LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. -- Meyers Leonard has a brother who served two tours in Afghanistan with the U.S. Marines. He carries a military-themed backpack, wears combat boots and has a phone loaded with Navy SEALs who are his friends.
He also makes this clear: "I absolutely believe Black lives matter," he said.
Still, Leonard could not bring himself to kneel for the national anthem.
Wearing a Black Lives Matter T-shirt over a jersey that he ordered to say "Equality" -- and as all other coaches and players around him knelt -- Leonard stood for the playing of "The Star-Spangled Banner" on Saturday before the Heat re-opened their season by facing the Denver Nuggets at Walt Disney World.
"Some of the conversations I've had over the past three days, quite literally, have been the most difficult," Leonard told The Associated Press prior to the game. "I am with the Black Lives Matter movement, and I love and support the military and my brother and the people who have fought to defend our rights in this country."
Leonard dealt with anxiety and sleeplessness for several days as he agonized over the decision. He explained his reasoning to current teammates and several former ones, almost all of them Black. Then he stood near midcourt, hand over his heart, as the song played.
"I am a compassionate human being and I truly love all people," Leonard said. "I can't fully comprehend how our world, literally and figuratively, has turned into Black and white. There's a line in the sand, so to speak: 'If you're not kneeling, you're not with us.' And that's not true.
"I will continue to use my platform, my voice and my actions to show how much I care about the African-American culture and for everyone. I live my life to serve and impact others in a positive way."
The focus of this restarted NBA season has been to continue shining light on the need for racial justice and an end to police brutality. NBA teams are kneeling, often linking arms, for the pre-recorded national anthem along a sideline where "Black Lives Matter" is painted.
Orlando Magic forward Jonathan Isaac, who is Black, stood for the anthem before his team's game Friday and opted not to wear the 'Black Lives Matter' shirt that players and coaches have donned at Disney for the pregame ceremony.
Later Friday, San Antonio Coach Gregg Popovich and Spurs assistant Becky Hammon both stood for the anthem. Popovich, a graduate of the United States Air Force Academy, stood with arms at his side. Hammon draped her arms over the shoulders of fellow assistant Will Hardy and Spurs guard Patty Mills.
"I did feel a little bit of a load lifted off my shoulders when they did that," Leonard said. "Each of those individuals had their own personal reasons, just as I do."
Heat forward Andre Iguodala, a member of the National Basketball Players Association's executive committee, said he respected Leonard's choice.
"On the one hand, we're saying, 'We want you to see things from our perspective,' " Iguodala said. "But by saying that, I also have to see things from his perspective. And I can see where he's coming from."
Heat captain Udonis Haslem had multiple conversations with Leonard in recent days about his decision. Haslem originally wished to see Leonard kneel, but after those talks he came away with understanding and vowed the Heat would support their teammate.
As the song ended, Haslem was the first to tap fists with Leonard.
"His being out there with us, as our brother, it's still showing strength, it's still showing unity, it's still showing that we're coming together for a common cause," Haslem said. "People will question, 'Why isn't he doing it their way?' Well, he's standing by us. He's supporting us. He's with us."
