OPINION

OPINION | BRENDA LOOPER: On responsibility

Brenda Looper
Brenda Looper


Everyone talks a lot about their rights and what they're entitled to; too few talk about the responsibilities those rights entail.

So since I need to bleed off some snark every once in a while to keep from being interminable, here are my thoughts.

You have a right to say or write whatever you want. However, you must take responsibility for your words. And while the government can't restrict your speech for the most part (though public safety is one reason it might be restricted, i.e., yelling "fire" in a crowded theater), others can, including businesses (they can refuse to serve you or allow you access to their platforms, stores, etc.) and public and private individuals.

If what you've said is provably false, you may be sued for defamation; if it's against a public figure, their burden of proof is higher, but not unreachable. If you've violated the terms of service of a social media platform, you can be banned from using it, even if the platform is owned by a public company. Public in this instance means only that the company's shares are traded freely in the stock market, not that it's an extension of government and therefore can't refuse service.

If you only knew how many times I've seen the "but it's a public company" whine. Words matter, but so does context.

If you've behaved uncivilly on a comment board, you don't have a right to demand someone respond to you. I know my mama would have smacked me upside the head if I'd said even a tiny fraction of the things uttered on most comment boards, which are often wildly untrue, ill-mannered and crude. I'd say the non-response to someone who posts those kinds of comments speaks volumes.

You have the right to be offended; you don't have the right to not be offended. What do I mean by that? Just that if something offends you, you don't have the right to remove it from public view if it's not your personal property. You're not royalty or a dictator (most likely) who can declare something off-limits or rewrite history à la Joseph Stalin because it displeases you. By all means, register your complaint, but don't expect the experts who determine suitability to just roll over, especially if you accuse them of being pedophiles and groomers. You might want to duck, because that dictionary they're lobbing at you is pretty darn heavy.

As one of my old Radio/TV instructors once told a woman who was complaining about a program being aired on the TV station he was working at, you have a choice. You can change the channel or turn it off. You don't get to dictate what everyone else gets to see. You're not everybody's mama.

You, as a customer, have a right to be served whatever you're paying for. However, that doesn't entitle you to harass or belittle those who serve you; that's not part of the purchase price unless you frequent establishments that specialize in that sort of thing.

And you might not want to noise that about. People might get ideas.

Two of my brothers worked in the restaurant business for decades, and could tell you stories about bad customers that would curl your ears. A big part of the business is customer service (after the food, of course), but often customers decide that they deserve special privileges they haven't earned. The customer isn't always right, despite the axiom, especially if the customer is asking for something the business doesn't provide, or is abusive. If you're refused service, there might be a very good reason for it.

You have a right to be a jerk. You don't have the right to evade consequences for your behavior. A lot of us are experiencing a bit of schadenfreude right now because of certain events, and comeuppance is finally rearing its head. If you break the law, you should expect punishment (it would help if some laws were enforced and/or hadn't been rendered useless by lawmakers with agendas). It's the same in daily life; if you disrespect the rules set out for everyone, don't be surprised if someone challenges you or you're tossed.

Just be a decent human. Be kind. Live and let live. Is that really too much to ask?

The Word Nerd has to get in a little something as well. She does that.

You're entitled to use "entitled" if you use it correctly. If you've paid into something, you're entitled to a piece of it, whether that's Social Security, a business or a pizza (chicken bacon ranch from Larry's or Gracie's at U.S. Pizza for me, please). You get to enjoy the privileges that come with having paid for it, but only what's on the menu. You might also see people who believe they have a privilege they don't really have, and call them entitled, as they behave with an air of entitlement.

But if you use "entitled" when talking about a book, an article, a song, a movie or whatever, you have a right to be smacked upside the head by the Word Nerd. She's pretty chill most of the time, but this raises her hackles. The correct word in this instance is "titled," which just means it's been given a title.

Then again, "Men Behaving Badly" (either the British original or the short-lived American version of the sitcom) could be an example of both titled and entitled.

Oof. I have a headache.


Assistant Editor Brenda Looper is editor of the Voices page. Email her at blooper@adgnewsroom.com. Read her blog at blooper0223.wordpress.com.


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